Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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