stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
