i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
