Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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