I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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