I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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