Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
