Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
