So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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