Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
