no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
