She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
