this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am mentally ready for anal.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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