i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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