So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
