Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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