Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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