I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
