i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
