Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
