i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
