She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
