Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
