I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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