i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
