Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize