I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
