Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
