dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
