You're so nebulous sometimes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
