the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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