apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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