:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
