I forgot how hot balto sounded
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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