dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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