whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
