FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize