wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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