I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
