Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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