Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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