dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
