Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
