eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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