so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
