HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
