I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
