dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
