Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
