The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
