I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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