During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
