M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
50% drunk capacity currently
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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