just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
