Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
