she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
