Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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