with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
