I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
