i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
