a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
being pregnant is like rehab
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
