a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
