I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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