Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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