A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
