Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
